How to Tell Someone They Hurt You

Everyone has been hurt by someone else at some point in their lives. Whether it’s something someone did or said, it can help to address it. Burying it can result in resentment or living in fear of the same thing happening again.

The problem is, talking about hurt isn’t easy. Confronting someone who hurt you is a very difficult thing to do and you may be wondering what their reaction will be. Here are a few tips to help you say what you need to say.

Start With Why

Start by telling the person why it’s important that you have this conversation. Think about why it’s important to share that you’ve been hurt and try to communicate it as you talk. Knowing how passionately you feel about this conversation can grab the attention of the person you’re talking to.

Let the person know that you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings because you value the relationship you have and believe it can be improved by having this conversation.

Talk About Your Hurt

Tell the person how you were hurt by their words or actions. Describe how it made you feel and how disappointed you felt. This can be a tricky conversation to have because many people may feel judged or become defensive at this point. 

It can be even worse if the behavior was caused by an addiction, mental health issues, or another struggle. It’s difficult to separate the behavior from the person but it’s important to voice your hurt.

How You Have Felt Since

Talk about how you have felt since the hurt happened. Perhaps it has caused a distance between you or maybe you haven’t been able to trust the person since. You may be worried about behavioral issues in the future or feel like the person needs help.

If you’re still feeling hurt because of the incident, now is the best time to forgive. Having voiced your hurt and concerns, the only thing left to do is move on.

Moving Forward

This is a good opportunity to allow your loved one to communicate with you. Whether you receive an excuse or an apology, this is their time to express their own feelings. There are two sides to every story and each is equally important.

It’s essential that you’re both on the same page if you want to move forward with your relationship. 

Get Help

A simple conversation isn’t always enough. There may be times when you need mediation or perhaps your loved one could benefit from alcohol rehab and therapy. Professional help can aid you both in changing the way your relationship develops.

You don’t have to move forward alone if the situation calls for more than you can both give. Intervention can help relationships to thrive, rather than risk them deteriorating. There are many forms of help available so it’s worth talking to a medical professional if you or your loved one is struggling.

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My name is Anne and I am a local mommy blogger ... Momee Friends is all about Long Island and all things local with the focus on family

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